I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
