absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
