butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
