So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
