Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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