Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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