My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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