it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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