Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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