Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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