well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
