Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
