Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
