This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
