What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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