got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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