i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
