when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
