Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
