I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
