allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
