There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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