watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
