She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
