i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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