Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
