some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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