The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
