i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
