you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
