careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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