My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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