she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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