i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
