Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
