it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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