i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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