Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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