Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
