ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
