is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
