therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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