It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
