What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
