You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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