Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
