OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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