So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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