I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
