? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
the raccoons are back...
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