I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
