Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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