Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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