i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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