My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
