Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
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