Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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