Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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