You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
