dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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