adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Your cock deserves a montage
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
